Tags
Adriamycin, appetite loss, Bald, Cancer Kitten, Cathy Kenney, chemotherapy, cytoxan, DCIS, hair loss, headache, mouth sores, sore veins, Stage 1 invasive ductal carcinoma, tired, young woman with breast cancer
I am halfway through chemo, something to celebrate. I am actually looking forward to next Tuesday and my third administration of my Adriamycin and Cytoxan cancer-killing combo, because that will mean I only have ONE MORE to go! I can deal with sore veins, headaches, loss of appetite, mouth sores, head colds, weakness and tiredness for a few more weeks. Oh, and baldness. Which, by the way, really pisses me off. I lost my head hair and my armpit hair, but NOTHING ELSE. I even still have a few big toe hairs. Total B.S. if you ask me.
I finally slept without some sort of hat on last night. My head stubble made it a bit uncomfortable to change position on my pillow, but otherwise I felt a little more liberated from my disease. I just couldn’t deal with the pressure on my head from a hat or scarf, and realized there was little point in trying to look sexy for Bing. Bald and missing half a boob…it’s not going to be my current looks that turn him on. Bing praised me for the decision, as he likes it when I just accept my shiny melon for what it is. His acceptance of my hairless condition is reflected by his newest and proudest nickname for me: Cannonball Kitten.
Cathy Kenney 
Cathy, you are awesome! You strength combined with your humor, the love of Bing, and our family and the love and prayers from all of your friends and those that have gotten to know you because of your bog, will bring you through all of this. Your hair will grow back with a new look for a while, but then come back with the familiar tresses you have always had. I bet you are a beautiful cannonball! Laurie B.
You are an inspiration. Your positive attitude will get you though anything. Stay strong. Janet
My hair starting coming in between my 3rd and 4th doses of AC and continued right through all 12 weeks of Taxol. Only on my head though.
Hi there, my name is Sandi and I found your blog about a week ago (I was googling “cashing in my IRA to pay for fertility treatment”) and YOU came up! Well, I am amazed by you. I have been going through a hard time in my life. Had a miscarriage about 6 months ago and no positive test since. Each day since then has seemed like a thousand years. I’ve gotten really down, and had a real hard time pulling myself up. I have a sadly lengthy history of abuse in my past, and depression kind of runs hand in hand with that. My hold on optimism is pretty tenuous). But reading your blog has really gotten me more in “kick ass” mode. You are just weathering all that you are going through so amazingly. I can tell you are just a wonderful, optimistic, happy, tough and beautiful woman. I aspire to be like you! My heart hurts a lot sometimes, and other times I feel like giving up. Being optimistic and hopeful hurts too much sometimes. But then I think of you, kicking cancer’s ass like you are, with a smile on your face, and it helps bouy my spirits. I will be following you and all your posts, and I am puling for you one hundred percent! Keep giving the big C hell! Pulling for you from small Carbondale, IL.
Hi Sandi-
Im so glad that my blog is heping you out. I write just what I am feeling, and I am happy that you can see some strength to get you through to some happier times. Hang in there! I can tell from what you said to me that you are a lot stronger and more magnificent than you think. ;o)
I agree that being optimistic can hurt when you are in the middle of going through bad times (or a lengthy bad time), but it’s the only way to know for sure that the bad time will end. I believe you have to envision and work toward whatever kind of life you want for yourself, whether that is a certain job, a family (you may end up creating one that you never expected!) or to simply (although it’s SO DIFFICULT) to be happy. I honestly don’t know what else to do besides tell my story and laugh about it. I cry sometimes, but the pity party only helps me to grieve the things that I am currently losing. It doesn’t help me to move beyond cancer, you know?
Anyway, hope you are having a relaxing and wonderful Sunday night.
Cathy
Thanks Cathy, it’s real nice to “know” you, from your blog. I’ll try to put what you say into practice. I’m really working on accepting the fact that now I guess was not the time for me to have the thing I long most for, but that it could come in the future, and very well may! I’m pretty confused about the subject of God in general, so I’m not sure that will be helpful to me. Mostly the subject frustrates me. But I am with you on, I’m just going to keep on working toward the family that I long to have, and try to weather the storms in between now and then and keep on believing that then will come. And try to love up my husband in the meantime* I will be reading your blog with interest! You are doing great, girlfriend.
Oh yeah, and I’m a freelance writer and trying to work on my first novel (very scary!). I think you are really funny. This blog would make a great book. Just a thought 🙂